


oh, my heart.

by poedaaaayumeron



Series: a series of firsts [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Angst, Porn With Plot, Rough Sex, bottom!poe, multiple orgasm, poe cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:45:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5676616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poedaaaayumeron/pseuds/poedaaaayumeron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Finn tried not to think about Poe. In the event he got caught, tortured, and killed, Finn especially would be made an example of. The whole of the Resistance would know what happened...</em><br/><br/>In which Finn is on a mission that goes wrong.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	oh, my heart.

**Author's Note:**

> so lmao remember when i said i wouldn't write anything sad? WELP THAT LAST ALL OF TWO WEEKS.
> 
> ends happy tho bc i can't keep my babies sad.
> 
> and this is part of my "firsts" series bc this is the first time since getting together officially that they almost lost each other [throws confetti]

Finn marched dutifully through the halls of the Star Destroyer, his identity concealed by the stormtrooper uniform he now wore, a set destination in mind, but he kept his gait slow. He was patrolling the halls, acting as a security detail, so he kept his movements purposeful, but without a destination.

Remaining vigilant, he passed the door he wanted, not for the first time. He was waiting for one of the members of his small team to join him.

They were on the ship to retrieve information, schematics mostly, plans and correspondence if they could, anything that could be of use to the Resistance. Finn was instrumental, with his knowledge of the enemy ships, how the hierarchy functioned, and his former experience as a stormtrooper. He immediately fell into his old posture and mindspace with the white armour back on, and he had helped in training a small squad of Resistance fighters in how to blend in well enough for covert missions.

There were four of them, aside from Finn himself.

There was Cothexc and Apalit, twin sisters and the pilots of their crew, and Cucreac, another soldier like Finn, but especially skilled in getting in and out of places quietly, and then Frayne, the tech specialist and engineer whom Finn was waiting for. It was a basic team, but any larger ran a higher risk of their covert operations being found out.

So far, all of their missions together had been a success, their skills meshing perfectly. Finn was pleased to have a team like this that he could count on and was actually properly _part of_. Back on base, they spent time together, ate together, blew off steam together with friendly games,most of which had to be taught to Finn. These people were his friends, his first friends aside from Rey, Poe, and Chewie.

He could remember being dismayed when Cothexc and Apalit had been assigned to his team, though, disappointed that Poe would not be one of his pilots. Poe had smiled comfortingly, reassuring him of the twins’ skills while General Organa gently shut down Finn’s protests.

“I can’t have both of you on the same dangerous missions like this. If something happened, I could lose both of you, which leaves the Resistance at a serious disadvantage,” she had responded, voice firm. “These pilots are some of our best, Poe trusts them, and I trust them. This is _your team_ , Finn.”

And Finn was honestly glad in the end, knowing Poe would have been a distraction for him on missions like these.

Another trooper fell in beside him, their steps in sync and their gaits matched. Finn didn’t tense at the sudden arrival; this was a regular occurrence for a security detail. He knew the trooper that joined him wasn’t Frayne.

“What’s up,” Finn risked addressing them, keeping his voice low enough that, should it be one of his team next to him, the communicators they had wired into their helmets would pick up his voice.

“Cothexc and Apalit are around the corner,” a gruff voice said. It was Cucreac, and something knotted in Finn’s stomach. Cucreac was only supposed to join him after Frayne had shown up, and Cothexc and Apalit weren’t part of this leg of the mission.

Something was wrong.

“Frayne didn’t check in with them and, apparently, hasn’t shown up here either,” the soldier continued, voice low.

Finn knew what Cucreac was suggesting, that they forfeit the mission and get out of dodge, which was honestly the smartest plan, but leaving Frayne behind, without knowing what happened, and failing the mission entirely on top of that, was completely out of the question.

“She’s one of us,” Finn said quietly and firmly, not turning his head even the slightest toward Cucreac.

“So what’s the plan, boss?” Cucreac asked as they turned the corner, two stormtroopers, whom Finn knew to be Cothexc and Apalit guarding a door coming within proximity of the communicators. Cucreac’s voice was pleased, more than happy to put his neck on the line rather than take the easy way out of this.

“You know enough of the systems to get the info we need, Apalit?” Finn asked, slowing just slightly to stay within range of their communicators.

“Yeah,” she responded readily.

“In five minutes, meet me and Cucreac at the door. We get the info, then we find Frayne,” Finn improvised, sweat beading on his forehead.

This was reckless, stupid, and boneheaded. If this succeeded, which was highly unlikely, they would still be in serious trouble back on base. They would have to blow their cover spectacularly to find Frayne and rescue her if need be.

This could throw away all future chances at covert missions; First Order would clamp down on security after this. It could mark the end of their involvement in the Resistance.

And if it failed, if they didn’t get out, they would be dead. Worse than dead, they would be used for information, tortured and whatever info they had turned against the Resistance.

Finn tried not to think about Poe. In the event he got caught, tortured, and killed, Finn especially would be made an example of. The whole of the Resistance would know what happened.

They were putting everything on the line for one person.

Finn had decided she was worth it. It may have been flawed--it was definitely a flaw in the eyes of the First Order--but he couldn’t turn his back on his team member, his friend.

“Let’s do this, and try to do it quietly,” Finn finally said and picked up his pace once again.

* * *

 “They missed the check-in,” General Organa said solemnly, looking at the read-outs. The tension in her shoulders was visible to everyone present. “It is unlikely that the mission was a success.”

Her words didn’t lessen the impact on the room, anxious muttering filling the space around her. Already people were offering up reasons: that their communications were knocked out, they couldn’t make it to the rendezvous, anything that may have explained the lack of communication.

“If they couldn’t communicate with base, something happened, they lost their cover somehow,” a forcibly calm voice spoke over everyone. It was Poe Dameron, his jaw set and brow severe. Leia could see him shaking, despite the calm in his voice. “They are in trouble, or were.”

“The only consolation is that there is no chatter indicating that the First Order caught any spies. Given that Finn is in their midst, we would have heard something if they were caught. But you’re right, Commander Dameron, the lack of communication is indicative of an altercation,” Leia said. She hadn’t felt anything, no disturbances and she knew that for now, they still lived. “They’re alive for now.”

“Can we launch a rescue?” someone across the room suggested, and Leia could feel Poe’s relief that someone else said it, while despairing at its impossibility.

“We don’t have the resources to go against the First Order for five people,” Leia responded. “That is why Finn’s team existed, to get the information we needed to go against them with what we have without the Republic.”

Silence fell across the room.

“All we can do is hope, and plan our next moves,” Leia said with finality, rising from her seat and leaving the room.

As she suspected, Poe was following right after. She knew what he wanted, could feel his anxiety and fear, the cloud of it thick enough to cut with a knife.

“I cannot allow you to go,” she said finally, stopping to meet Poe’s gaze. “I cannot afford to lose both of you, especially now.”

Poe swallowed, and his eyes were wetter, glassier, and Leia’s heart ached. She knew that look, knew what it meant and knew what this was doing to Poe.

“I can’t lose him,” the young man managed to say after a few drawn out moments; the effort in uttering those words evenly was obvious in the way he swallowed after.

“There is still hope, Poe,” Leia insisted, reaching out to touch his arm. “Don’t lose your faith. He’s still alive, I can feel it.”

The pilot swallowed again and nodded, blinking rapidly but Leia could see he was losing his composure. He couldn’t maintain his collected facade for much longer and the general wouldn’t force him to.

“You’re relieved of your duties for today, Dameron. Go and rest. I’ll call on you when you’re needed or if any new developments come up,” she said gently, giving him the mercy of privacy.

Poe managed to keep himself together all the way to his quarters, his expression stoney until he was behind his door and safe from prying eyes. And it was there that he slumped, sitting with his back against the closed portal, face in his hands. He wasn’t even crying; he was in shock, shaking and pale and cold, eyes shut.

Finn might not come back.

That thought cycled through his brain but didn’t compute. It was a thought that had come to him in the meeting, but the reality of it had yet to properly sink in.

Finn might not come back.

A sob bubbled up, his breath caught on it and he all but choked as another sob followed. Still the meaning behind those five words hadn’t caught up to him, the gravity of them still disconnected from him. He felt separated from his body, as if he were floating just a few inches above where he sat, observing himself. Ears ringing, he turned the thought over in his mind once again.

Finn might not come back.

Finally it sunk, a sharp agony in the center of his chest like a hot knife, dragging a wounded sound from him. Suddenly, Poe was no longer in the haze of denial, the out-of-body feeling gone to his dismay. His face was damp, a confusing development until his mind caught up, and he realized he had been crying, steady streams of tears as he sobbed brokenly and openly into his empty quarters.

Something snapped as he thought about how he and Finn were playing with the idea of getting bigger quarters together, with more space for the two of them, so Finn could move out of his tiny broom closet of a room and live with Poe properly. Poe’s own quarters weren’t much bigger, the two of them tripping over each other constantly as they moved about the space. They had joked that where Finn’s room was cramped, Poe’s was intimate.

But now, with the possibly permanent absence of the other man, the room felt huge and empty and cold. The pilot was drowning in the void, choking on it and gasping. His chest was tight, he felt like he was in Kylo Ren’s torture chair all over again, shattering and breaking, the only thing keeping him from screaming being that he could hardly get enough air to breathe.

Black spots appeared in his vision and he slumped over, lying there on the stone floor, shivering and trying to breathe through his grief, trying to clutch to the hope Leia insisted he keep.

But Finn might not come back.

* * *

Poe woke to a pounding on his door, startling as he hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep. No, he hadn’t fallen asleep, he had passed out. He remembered the gasping and sobbing. He had lost consciousness, and for just a moment, he had been confused as to why.

The pounding on the door sounded again, jolting him out of another bout of panicked sobbing. The noise was urgent, so he struggled to his feet, wiping at his face and pulling the door open.

It was Jessika, eyes wide and face hopeful. “They’re back. Commander, they made it back.”

“Finn--” Poe managed to choke out before stumbling into the hall and following the young woman.

“We don’t know anyone’s condition,” she confessed, her voice almost regretful. “All I know is they’re landing now, and the general sent me to get you.”

The pilots were sprinting down the halls until they exited onto the tarmac, eyes on the aircraft that had landed. It appeared undamaged, relief swelling in Poe’s chest. Pushing through the crowd that had gathered,  he waited at the front for the walkway to descend.

Once it did, three figures rushed down, all still wearing the white armour of stormtroopers, though their helmets were removed. It was the three women: Cothexc and Apalit, carrying Frayne between them. All of them looked worse for wear, but all undeniably alive. Behind them, carrying a hefty bag, was Cucreac, tailed closely by Finn.

To Poe’s utter relief, the man looked more or less unharmed.

Med staff rushed the team, Poe along with them. Finn spotted him as he approached, his tense face relaxing with relief, folding into Poe’s embrace.

“I’m okay,” Finn promised against Poe’s mouth, holding the pilot tight. “I’m okay. We’re all okay.”

Poe couldn’t even talk, couldn’t even put words to his relief as he kissed and clutched at his lover, paying no mind to the crowd of people behind them, or the medical staff that urged them along. He didn’t leave Finn’s side, holding his hand tightly even as he was examined, whatever wounds he had dealt with and cleared.

It wasn’t long before General Organa arrived in the infirmary, her own relief obvious. “Now tell me everything.”

“When the time came to execute the plan, Frayne was MIA. Cothexc, Apalit, and Cucreac prepared the escape, as were our orders if something went wrong,” Finn began, stopping in his report.

“But that isn’t what happened, was it?” Leia asked slowly.

“I wouldn’t leave Frayne behind,” Finn responded, jaw set and tone almost defiant.

“None of us would,” Cothexc interjected, her sister nodding emphatically beside her. “Apalit took Frayne’s place in the mission, got the information you wanted, and we set about finding Frayne.”

“When we found her, we created a diversion, and we all got out. The rest of our covers weren’t, as far as I can tell, blown,” Cucreac added.

“Where was she?” Poe asked. “How did you create a diversion while maintaining your covers?”

“She was in the prison block. And Apalit disabled the life support systems so the ship had to be abandoned. We secured a ship to escape in, got to the rendezvous, and got home,” Finn rattled off, waiting anxiously as Leia regarded them.

There was much more to the story, as they all had sustained injuries somehow, no matter how small some of them may have been. There was an altercation of some sort, but seeing as they were all convinced they were not found out, the other half of the mystery altercation was likely dead.

“What you did was incredibly reckless. It borders on insane, what you did, what lengths you went to for one person when you knew the protocol,” she finally said, voice stern.

“We were not leaving Frayne behind, General. She is one of us, I couldn’t abandon her,” Finn responded, voice hard and determined. Poe squeezed his hand, chest aching and throat sore from his earlier episode.

“Going against protocol, against orders, is a punishable offence, officer. You understand this, yes?”

“It won’t be the first time I’ve been punished for caring about my team, General.”

His words hung in the air, no one talking, no one even breathing for a few moments.

“As it is, General Organa, the mission was a success, regardless of our shaky exit. We got the information you needed, we all made it out alive, and aside from Frayne, our identities were not revealed,” Cucreac added finally, breaking the silence that had fallen. “And if we had left Frayne with them, we would have bigger problems on our hands. They would’ve gotten information out of her, any way they could.”

The general nodded, closing her eyes and smiling. “Perhaps you are right, officer. You did well, all of you. Get some rest, we will go over your mission once we comb through the information you gathered. Dismissed.”

Finn bid his team goodnight before following Poe out of the infirmary, his hand in the pilot’s vice-like grip.

Reaching Poe’s quarters, they slipped inside, the door shutting behind them. Despite Poe’s urgency, they did nothing, just stood in the quiet room, holding hands and watching each other.

“You probably want to wash up,” the pilot murmured, knowing he generally needed a shower before relaxing fully after a mission. He remembered clearly how he had scrubbed himself raw in the shower for days after his return to the Resistance from Kylo Ren’s clutches.

Even as Finn nodded, he tugged Poe along with him toward the small, private washing room they had. “Don’t want to leave you alone, though,” Finn insisted, pulling off the stormtrooper gear with one hand.

“No, go on. Wash up, I’ll wait out here for you. Not enough room in there for both of us,” Poe insisted, pulling Finn in for a kiss, chaste and light, before releasing his hand.

Searching his face, Finn nodded slowly before pulling the rest of his gear off, stepping naked into the washing room and into the compact shower stall. Poe sat down on the bed, grateful that the man left the door open, so he could still fully hear him in there, every little sound he made as he washed himself, could see his silhouette through the thin plastic walls of the stall.

He couldn’t relax, though, could still scarcely breathe, hands balled into fists in his lap, and he stared down at his boots. He was tense, lost, and dazed, trying to figure out where the near loss of his lover left him now that the man was returned to him. Poe could recall the cavernous emptiness of their quarters when he thought Finn wasn’t coming home, could recall how crushing that loneliness felt.

The sound of the shower shutting off barely registered in his mind, not even realizing that Finn was in the room with him until the man was standing before him and cupping his jaw, lifting Poe’s face to meet his gaze.

“Poe,” Finn began, voice quiet and inquisitive. He was anxious, Poe could see that, and he wanted to comfort him, but couldn’t move. He was frozen there on the bed, looking up at his lover, unable to even say anything to him. Something akin to realization dawned on Finn’s face, and he said earnestly, “Poe, I’m sorry.”

The apology jolted through the pilot, confusing him. He didn’t understand what Finn was sorry for. He had done his job, and was looking out for his team. Poe remembered doing the same, clearly remembered doing it, risking life and limb in a reckless mission that was almost guaranteed to have ended in death, putting the entire Resistance at risk.

Would he have been as reckless with Finn sitting at base waiting for him to come home, though?

The answer was immediate, an emphatic yes, but there was an extra edge of anxiety to it, that he would be leaving Finn without so much as a goodbye if something went especially poorly, the unfinished business and the not-knowing of it. He thought about the way he was almost left there, waiting for _some_ kind of answer, knowing that it could very well have come in the form of the First Order making an example of Finn. He thought about the agony of waiting for even just the few hours it took for Finn to return, and imagined the same happening in reverse.

Poe reached up and pulled Finn down, holding him against his chest as the man straddled his lap, Finn pressing his lips against the pilot’s jaw. He was still naked and wet from his shower, shivering in the chilly air of their quarters, burrowing against Poe’s heat.

“I’m so sorry, Poe,” he murmured again, his voice quivering and Poe shook his head.

“Shush no, stop that, just,” the pilot began, but his words faltered. He had no idea what he was asking of Finn, just that he needed the man to do something other than apologize. He needed Finn to stop feeling guilty for doing the right thing.

“Can I…?” Finn asked, hands tugging at the buttons of Poe’s shirt,not stripping him just yet.

The pilot nodded, his hands slipping between them to help the man in his lap remove his shirt. Once Poe was shirtless, he was pressed back onto the bed and Finn slipped off of him to work on his trousers, pulling the buttons of this fly open. Poe lifted his hips off of the bed to allow for Finn to pull his clothing off, undergarments at all. In their haste, they had forgotten Poe’s boots, which Finn made quick work of with a frustrated mutter.

Finally, when they were both naked, that laid flush against each other on their sides, foreheads touching, legs intertwined, and arms wrapped around each other. Poe released a shaky sigh, wavering on the edge of crying again when Finn reeled him in tight, lifting his chin to tuck the pilot in under it, clutching the older man while he shook in his arms.

Poe needed this, the contact and the body heat, finally feeling warmth return to his core as he held his lover close and felt the shifting of him breathing, the little gusts of breath that fanned across his face.

“I’m so--”

“Stop,” Poe said, voice muffled where his mouth was pressed to Finn’s collarbone. “Stop apologizing.”

“What?”

Poe pulled back to meet Finn’s eyes, strengthening his resolve. “What you did was brave. Reckless and stupid, yes, but brave. You did the right thing, just like you always do. Yes, following protocol would have caused me less stress, but one of our own would’ve been subjected to unspeakable agony. Do _not_ apologize for looking out for your people.”

The pilot pressed a chaste kiss to Finn’s lips as he deliberated about what to say next.

“We’re at war, Finn. We’re both important to the Resistance, too important for this to not come up again. We’re going to go through this again, it’s only a matter of time, and one of these days...one day one of us might not make it--”

“Poe, stop talking like that.”

“Finn, just listen, let me finish,” Poe begged. “My parents were married, had me, before the Empire was defeated. They had hope, and faith that they would create a better galaxy for me to live in, and I have to believe the same about this. I have to believe that no matter what happens, what we’re doing is helping, what we’re doing _matters_ , okay? No matter what decisions are made, no matter how hard they are, and how they turn out, they’re important and we can’t regret them.”

The younger man nodded, his expression confused.

“So no more apologizing. Neither of us apologizes for doing what is right, and good. We fight, we do our damnedest to create a better galaxy, we make our choices and we respect them. I will never, ever be mad at you for saving your team. If you hadn’t come back to me, I still wouldn’t be mad at you, never,” he continued, babbling now as understanding dawned on Finn. “Like I said, more hard decisions are going to come up and I don’t want to waste what time _we do_ have together apologizing for choices that had to be made, okay?”

“Okay,” Finn responded, nodding quickly. His expression was still pained.

“You’re still sorry, thinking you almost didn’t make it back,” Poe stated, not even asking, and Finn nodded. “But you did come back, so that doesn’t matter. The thought of going without you, it _hurts_ , I can’t even describe it--”

“I think I can venture a guess,” Finn said, tone aiming for teasing, but not quite reaching it.

“--but I have you, you’re still here so that hypothetical ‘what if’ is irrelevant and you don’t have to apologize to me about it. Please, let this go,” Poe finished, lifting his hand to stroke Finn’s cheek, thumb brushing across Finn’s full bottom lip. “I need you to let it go. I went through the ‘what if’, I don’t want to go through it again now that I know it’s wrong.”

Finn nodded, kissing the pad of Poe’s thumb. “I’ll let it go. No more apologizing.”

The pilot leaned forward and pressed his lips to Finn’s, sighing happily as the younger man responded instantly by opening his mouth, allowing Poe’s tongue entrance. They kissed languidly like this, slow and coaxing, learning each other’s mouths again as if it were their first, like they hadn’t been mapping each other’s mouths and bodies for months, like they had never tasted each other before.

Poe wasn’t going to take any more moments like this for granted. He couldn’t. Each and every touch and kiss and bite was going to count, was going to mean something. Every single moment with Finn was his last until proven otherwise, and he would treasure each as such.

Inhaling his lover’s scent, Poe stretched and wrapped his leg over Finn’s hip, pulling the man flush against him and pressing deeper into the kiss, eyes shut and his hand sliding up to hold the back of Finn’s head. Without too much prompting, the pilot rolled them so that Finn was on top of him, body slotted perfectly between his spread thighs. The younger man didn’t miss a beat, shifting up onto his knees and pressing his half-hard cock alongside Poe’s, reaching down between them to stroke Poe’s length.

Moaning into the soft mouth still sealed to his, Poe let his free hand slip down Finn’s chest and abdomen, wrapping gently around the man’s girth and stroking it, sighing as he felt it fill and pulse in his light grip. He didn’t want to waste time, but he also didn’t want to rush their pleasure, rush the exquisite moment where they were touching each other and moaning into each other’s mouths, their contact sweet and reverent.

Finn’s touch on his body intensified, his hand quickening on his cock and his other hand sweeping upward to play with Poe’s chest, thumb rubbing at his nipple firmly. A throaty groan exploded from Poe’s mouth, the sound swallowed and echoed by Finn when the pilot twisted his own grip on his length. The heat built between them and brought a haze over Poe’s mind, his body sensitive to every little touch the man above him rewarded him with.

Poe needed more, needed to know that Finn was here and with him and alive. He needed to have the stress he had felt, the worry and the agony of almost losing the love of his life, driven out of his mind. Poe just _needed_.

Letting go of the back of Finn’s head, Poe groped blindly for the bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a bottle. He fumbled as he worked the lid open with his thumb, reaching down and pouring some of the viscous liquid on Finn’s cock, his stroking hand spreading it as he swallowed Finn’s hungry growls. It was an excessive amount, the lightly scented lube dribbling down onto Poe’s thigh and cock. He let out a soft noise when a single drop ran down his balls and perineum, the sensation ticklish, and reflexively reached down between his own legs to rub at it.

The pilot grew impatient, his desire rearing up. He shut the bottle and pulled his mouth away from Finn’s to roll over onto his knees, propping up on one elbow as his lubed hand reached back to press a finger into himself. Poe moaned at the lewdness of it, being so openly displayed for his lover, his knees spread wide and cock swinging in the open space as he worked himself open and loose.

Strong, calloused hands grabbed his ass, spreading his cheeks even further, and Poe shuddered at the thought of Finn watching him do this. Poe had gotten two of his fingers into himself when he felt the hands leave his body. Instead of craning his neck to look, to try and see what Finn was up to, Poe buried his face into the arm that propped himself up, twitching his hips up to meet his fingers.

A slick digit pressed in alongside his own two, angling just right as it breached him to rub against his prostate. Poe gasped then and turned his head, peering over his shoulder to look at Finn, to watch as the younger man fingerfucked him in tandem, his other hand stroking his own cock. Finn’s eyes met his, and he sank a second finger into Poe’s entrance, the stretch of it pulling a shivering groan from the pilot.

“Finn,” Poe sighed, rocking back onto the man’s fingers, a gasp leaving him as his prostate was hit just right.

Finn was withdrawing his fingers, his movement so fast that the sudden near-emptiness had Poe gasping into the pillow. He removed his own digits, finding purchase on the bed with both hands. There was a moment of silent surprise when the blunt head of Finn’s cock nudged against his entrance, that tentative touch being the pilot’s only warning before Finn pressed forward, sinking home in one swift thrust.

Poe choked on a moan, rocking back hard against his lover, his whole body thrumming with how deep Finn’s cock was. The man behind him bit out a thick sound before thrusting into the pilot with enough strength to jolt him. With a delighted shout, Poe all but crawled up the bed with each slap of Finn’s hips against his ass until he could brace his palms on the wall, grinding back onto the soldier’s cock.

“Finn,” Poe repeated, mouth slack and eyes rolled back.

He was so full, so thoroughly debauched as Finn speared him with everything he had, rough hands holding Poe’s waist, dragging him down with every thrust upward. He was moaning, the sound wanton and needy and broken as he let his head tip forward, sweaty curls hanging down around his face. This was exactly what he needed, despite how slow and tender they had started.

Poe needed to feel Finn, so vital and alive and _there_ , needed to ache with his presence, feel it for days even if another mission took them away from each other tomorrow. He needed this more than he needed air, and something in that was exquisitely terrifying, a thrill shooting up his spine and wrenching another desperate sound from him. Their coupling became the single most important thing in that moment. The base could  burn down and Poe wasn’t sure he could stop this.

“ _Finn_ ,” the pilot keened now, his voice going rougher with each jarring thrust into his body.

A hand slipped forward along his waist, pausing on his stomach before traveling upward to his chest. At first, Poe thought his nipples were the goal, shivering with need until the hand tugged him back. The pilot teetered on his knees before he fell back against Finn’s chest, straddling his lap backward, and letting out a shout as the cock he was sitting on somehow slid even deeper. The shift milked a thick dribble of precum from the tip of Poe’s length, dripping down onto Finn’s knees.

Poe let out a throaty sound, caught somewhere between a sob and laugh as he watched more precum drool down his dick.

Finn wrapped an arm around Poe’s waist, holding him still and captive while the other hand slid up his body to rest at the base of the pilot’s throat. Poe tipped his head back, mewling, absolutely whimpering, resting atop Finn’s shoulder as the other man bit and sucked at his exposed throat. Poe tried to move, to grind himself down on the hardness inside him, tried to get some friction as the pressure built. The longer they sat like this, the madder he was driven, his noises growing increasingly high-pitched and needy.

“Finn, _ahn_ !” He was about to beg, plead with Finn to do _something_ , when the soldier flexed and bodily lifted him, letting him drop back down on his cock. Poe shouted, one hand reaching up to hold the back of Finn’s head once again while the other clutched at the arm around his waist. He tried to use his own legs to control the rhythm, to make it faster, to get more of it, but he was completely helpless in this position. He could only sit there and whimper, taking whatever Finn gave him.

Finn let him drop down, a shattered sound getting punched from Poe’s gut, and the younger man began to grind up into him, the movements just shifting the cock inside him without properly fucking him, pulling a dragged-out wail from the pilot. His knuckles were white where he gripped Finn’s arm around his waist, his release building in his gut and lingering there, just out of reach.

Again, Poe found himself about to beg when the hand left his chest and descended upon his cock, stroking it hard and fast and determined. He was shaking as Finn worked his shaft, continuing the skilled, measured grinding against the pilot’s ass. Between the shifting girth inside him pressing constantly at his prostate, and the hand moving on his cock, Poe wasn’t going to last more than a few more moments.

He couldn’t even verbalize a warning before he was tumbling over the edge, sobbing Finn’s name as he arched his back, his cock spitting across the open space before them. Poe was helpless, shuddering and convulsing, his body taut as stars exploded behind his eyes.

At Poe’s release, before the man even had a chance to recover, Finn surged up and forward, pressing his lover nearly face-first into the wall, fucking into him in earnest. Poe’s body was screaming with sensation, oversensitized and thrumming with his orgasm still, but he braced his palms against the wall and eagerly met each hard thrust against his ass. With his knees now back on the mattress, he had some leverage to work with.

It was one of the few times where Finn allowed himself to take like this, to ram into Poe until his teeth clacked loudly together, pulling screams and shouts from the pilot. The former trooper was relentless, mindless behind him, their coupling turned absolutely brutal.

And Poe loved it when Finn let go like this, begged for it constantly, breathlessly. He needed this animalistic rutting more often than he cared to admit, and only very rarely did Finn indulge him. He could never get an answer to why Finn was so reluctant, especially when it was obvious he loved and needed it this way just as much.

The pilot shuddered, eyes rolling back as more pressure built in his gut, that coil tightening again at an alarming rate, his body still spasming from his release just a few minutes ago. Finn’s thrusts against his ass were turning frantic, erratic, hands moving to Poe’s hips to drag him back against each brutal snap of his hips. The hands on his body held him hard enough to bruise and Poe moaned brokenly, the pressure pulling the coil in his gut even tighter. He wanted the bruises and aching, wanted to feel this coupling for weeks, see the evidence of it on his waist and throat and ass and thighs.

Finn lifted up onto his knees a bit higher, the angle of his thrusts changing just enough, and he was nailing the pilot’s prostate on each hard slide in. Poe choked, eyes wide and watering as his body was wracked with sharp pleasure, and he came again, his cock pulsing weakly where it hung half-hard between his thighs.

Poe slumped forward, exhausted and sated, resting his sweating forehead against the cool wall as Finn let out a deep groan and fucked into him twice more before stilling his hips. The pilot could feel Finn’s cock pulsing inside him, pumping his seed into Poe’s body. Poe grinned deliriously against the wall, grinding back against the softening girth still settled deep inside him.

Finn moaned behind him, the sound wrapped into a chuckle as he leaned forward. Poe could feel the press of lips between his shoulderblades, could feel his lover kiss his way up to his shoulder and laughed. The moment was so exquisitely tender, that if not for the exhausted panting that filled the room, the bruises forming on Poe’s waist and Finn’s arm, it would seem as if they had merely imagined their passionate, rough love-making.

The younger man nipped lightly at the pilot’s shoulder and withdrew from Poe’s body with a wet sound, lowering Poe gently onto the mattress, avoiding the wet patches from both of his orgasms. Finn got off the bed briefly to fetch a damp towel, wiping himself clean before paying Poe’s tender hole some soft attention.

Poe was finding it hard to keep his eyes open now, his body pleasantly sore and tired, and his mind at peace. He smiled through his exhaustion as Finn rejoined him on the bed, pressing sweet kisses against the pilot’s cheek and forehead.

“I didn’t mean to be that rough,” Finn said with a sheepish chuckle and Poe forced his eyes open so he could smile at his lover properly.

“It was perfect,” he said, lifting his hand to stroke Finn’s cheek lovingly. “I needed that.”

“It’s going to hurt tomorrow,” Finn warned, and Poe just laughed.

“I’m counting on that,” he said, biting his lip as he searched Finn’s dark eyes. “I need you to hold me now.”

Finn grinned and maneuvered them both so that they were under the covers, Poe cuddled up against his side. The pilot drifted off almost instantly, half sprawled across his lover, lulled to sleep by the steady beat of Finn’s heart nearby.

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://poedaaaayumeron.tumblr.com) if u love stormpilot, oscar isaac, angry queers, and hating reylo and kylo/poe.
> 
> follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/poehotdameron) for much of the same, except mostly the "angry queers" part if i'm being completely honest.


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